mercredi 22 mars 2017

Pre-farewell to Lord Genocide

It's been kind of a soul-mess and mayhem for a few months now. On the way conceiving what stands to be the successor of all my past and current musical endeavors. Finding the right direction without falling in sort of "moment hypes well archetyped style", but making the contrast with something filled of sincerity and authentic feeling. Not pretending to..., just faking it, or trying to respect all the "sacrosanct codes of a so called and too well known appealing easy genre" but making it just the way it is and has to be, nothing more, nothing less...

I must admit that I'm not that afraid or worried about it. Because I'm quite used with the way it actually feels. As most of he time, everything I ever built came through such a whirl of stones, like materializing temples to destroy them right after... questioning, creative ideas, options, changes, rearrangements, cancellations, rewriting, better ideas, good thoughts but better kept private, rebuilding, annihilating, rebirth, quintessence... Such is the torment of a composition mind in my humble opinion.

And this, can sometime get you lost or misunderstood. Even if something always breaks through to emerge into reality in the end. Then and there is the only reward. Used with it... definitely, like a daily companion that you finally learn to know and discuss with. Not a good old friend, but the one imposing your own inspiration or decision ultimately. A sort of "room-mate muse", displeasing but that you have to treat good for it simply is the way of your tortuous spirit.

I met it years ago, when I started with Vociferian. Each time I delivered a new piece I thought it would be the very last one, and that I could leave this "unpeace". But this was the mistake, my torments are my peace. Time will tell where it'll all lead. But with time, I'm learning to accept my own nature, and if it annoys or irritates, that's no real big deal... be yours, be the real one inner the self. That would be the only unsubtle conclusion, but a so true one.
Also, convention will always make me sick...

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